somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
