Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
