I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
