Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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