i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
