Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
