After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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