The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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