I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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