You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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