Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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