Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
