Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize