I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
