You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
