You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
