Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
