Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
