He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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