I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize