Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
