Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
what is it with giant penises always finding me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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