if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
