I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
