hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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