I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
