it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
