Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
third nipple confirmed
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
