Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
