You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
