Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
