ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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