Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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