i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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