remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize