So drunk its hurt
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize