No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
