Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize