It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
