So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
