That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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