I can't watch pbs sober anymore
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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