She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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