Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Actions speak louder than pants.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
