Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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