WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
