i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
