Yo dont text me then not text me
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
