i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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