I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
