i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
