Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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