What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
my shit smells like andre
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
