im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
