we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
