he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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