What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
