There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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