So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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