I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She's like a pop up book from hell.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
