I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
