he shaved USA in his pubs
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
