He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
