Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
