He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize