There is no way he is gay with that hair.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
